Sunday, May 29, 2011

Umm Yaa You Know...

The dainty young lassie gives an affected wave with her skinny hands, exhales a mini-sigh of uber-chicness and in the poshest of posh accents, says, 'It's like, you know, such a drag!'

She regales me with cache of stories about the latest art 'do' making waves in London and the best caterer of petits-fours the haute Paris-returned Mumbai divas are serving for their coffee get-togethers.

'Where did you study?' I ask, thinking Sorbonne or Warwick or Wesleyan.

'Jai Hind', she replies, smiling pertly and prettily.

'Then you went overseas?' I rally on, intrigued by the airy accent and throaty hesitations, this constant reference to London and Paris and New York.

'Summer program at LSE, you know. Just to get a feel for it!' She gives a shrug, her bony shoulders forming inverted Vs in the air briefly, then falling back to their lackadaisical stance.

Huh? I goggle.

'I got picked up by this investment bank after my summer program, you see.'

What? Move over brainista, move in fashionista. All it takes to woo high net worth lads to entrust their hard earned millions to an i-bank is a breathy, airy, babe-licious relationship manager.

'Overseas?' I ask, clearly flummoxed, trying not to show it.

'Oh here, in Mumbai', she trilled.

'My boss was so impressed with my work, I moved into the hedge fund side within the year. The hedge fund was based out of New York, of course.'

Oh, it gets better. No need to spend a lifetime of excellence preparing to get to Harvard or Wharton either.

'So you went to New York?' I ask, now needing to understand the genesis of this faux-phoren style.

'Oh no, I was in Mumbai, working with the team in the US. I am such a South Mumbai gal! I like it here.'


Blame the accent on pappa-sponsored summer holidays to London and DC, then! Or may be the gaggle of SoBo girls-school buddies.

'I did really well, got promoted within the year. But discovered I really liked marketing.'

Clearly, no one could ace the lass in self-marketing.

Who needs a two year grind at IIMA? What does Kotler teach, anyway, other than a load of bisecting and dissecting segments.

The real art of marketing, presenting this sublime vision, articulating with such affectation, clearly does not need PPPP mumbo jumbo.

She flashed perfect white teeth. 'So, umm yaa, here I am, you know.'

No, I don't know!!!